Oasis

It was yet another lazy day and having a lot of free time at hand, I decided to spend it in the most productive way…getting high. Since it was officially Friday, I too pondered through a difficult dilemma as Rebecca Black, but instead of the front/back row seat dilemma, I had to choose what coffee shop should I take my talents to.

After having adventurously explored much of the Groningen pot scene in the past, me and my Finnish buddies democratically decided to pay a visit to a coffee shop, which we grew very fond of and consequently made to our chill out spot, this coffee shop is called oasis.

According to my hazy memory, it looks kind of like this.

Oasis coffee shop takes its pride in offering the best hashish in town, as well as having a wide selection of different assortments of weed. The interior of the place is made of various wooden decorations and some weird Hindu statues, while half of the seats at the coffee shop are presumably stolen from the cinema (I wasn’t complaining).

Once we arrived, we quietly settled down and got started. After my failed attempt of ordering a Charlie Sheen drug, I at the end settled down for a gram of white widow and 2 hash joints, while my buddies ordered the orange crush and snow white (if I remember correctly?). We started off with Hash, which was sensational and gave us the ultimate chill out experience, without that burning tongue/throat sensation. After engaging in some intellectually stimulating conversations on the potential economic benefits of legalizing weed in Croatia and Finland (ok, it was mostly my monologue), we decided to roll up some white widow. After those two joints, we were glued to our seats and could barely move our muscles or faces, in a way we were a perfect cast for a Keanu Reeves lead role.

Is it called acting, or just being stoned?

After a while I managed to move out of my seat and go to the bathroom, where I noticed that my eyes were glowing red, which I refused to attribute to anything else other than my infrared vision. Once I got back from the bathroom, we all decided to go to McDonald’s, and those hamburgers tasted like heaven. Later on we all said goodbye and headed home. Once I got home I took a nap and woke up several hour later, around 1 a.m., with enormous munchies that made me feel like I could devour a horse. After my failed attempt of prank calling a few friends, I decided to hit the town and find a store or any shop where i could get something to eat, which is an exceptionally hard task around here, since everything closes so god damn early in this town. After an epic Lord of the Rings like weed-induced journey to closed Burger King and Alber Heijn, i felt defeated. At that moment my search for food seemed as futile as agent Fox Mulder's search for the truth.

I want to believe... there's an open McDonald's somewhere out there.

Nevertheless I wasn’t ready to give up, and by great fortune found a working grocery store, WINNING! Once I got there, I ordered McFlurry and a Big Mac…and was met with a confusing look from the shop keeper. At the end I had to settle down with 2 Milka chocolates and Choco cakes.

So advice for all of you, always have some food in your fridge, cause there is nothing worse than not being able to satisfy your munchies.

Oasis (Hashish)

price 3/5

strength 3/5

quality 5/5

mind 5/5

body 4/5

overall 4/5

Oasis (White Widow)

price 3/5

strength 5/5

quality 4/5

mind 4/5

body 3/5

overall 4/5